10 Worst (Best?) Fortune Cookie Fortunes Ever

What better way to end a meal of stuffing your face, and inevitably feeling ashamed of yourself, than by eating a tasteless crumb flap containing a note from a stranger! I would rather have any of these.

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- 10 years ago by NathanHutchcraft

11908 Views

1 - Don't Look So Smug

This is probably what we should be taking away from every fortune cookie, anyway.

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2 - Orange You Glad You Got This Cookie?

Is this really a fortune, or just common knowledge? I suppose it would be odd if something else came out. Like, for instance, this worthless fortune!

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3 - Meta

Whoa. Chill out, fortune cookie. You don't want to accidentally rip a hole in the universe...

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4 - NOOOO!!!

Oh, god! It's right! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??? oh, yeah. I got lunch at a Chinese buffet. We're good.

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5 - Marketing Done... Right?

I think fortune cookies are just ways for fortune cookie companies to sell more fortune cookies. It's a vicious cycle of crumbly goodness.

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6 - Absolutely Accurate

Amirite?

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7 - This didn't come with a lightbulb, huh?

Enough, already! I've got pressure from my wife, my family, my boss, AND NOW THIS!!? F*CK YOU LITTLE PAPER BIT!

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8 - Death Note

This fortune cookie writer was having quite an existential day.

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9 - Male Enhancement

WHO TOLD YOU!? WAS IT MY WIFE!?

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10 - This Cookie is on a 'Roll'

This cookie is never gunna tell a lie and hurt you.

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NathanHutchcraft

Nathan Hutchcraft is the creator and co-host of the YouTube web series, NathanAndRose. He also writes for several online sources, as well as having a nearly insatiable love for jalapeno pizza.

Joined On May 13th 2015

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